Quotes from the Woods

Some time ago we started keeping a notepad of some of the crazy things we heard people say at Butterdon Wood. When the pods arrived, we lost the notebook in all the melee of removing containers and towable classrooms, and installing our beautiful wooden pods.

Last week, however, it turned up and it felt that now was a good time to share some of these wonderful quotes with you!

Over the years we have had people say the most funniest of things…staff and students alike! Misinterpretations, weird and wonderful conversations in the context of our school at Butterdon Wood, seem simply normal. Out of context, however, and people just look at us very strangely.

For example - where else would you hear “Chris, can you get the bones out of the toilet” (Before anyone raises the alarm this relates to a bag of plastic halloween bones we were going to bury around camp as part of the celebration.)

Or “Its that weird combination of a (bow) saw and an exercise book…” Rachael says as she pauses mid discussion with another member of staff to observe someone walking across the car park.

Even during lockdown 1 some sayings continued to be recorded in the book including “J left me in a plant pot” Adam reports following a welfare call to a student.

Of course all our staff are great people, bright, intelligent and empathic souls who do a fantastic job of looking after our students. But sometimes, just sometimes, when we are asked questions like these we have to wonder…

Solar flares? Are those the ones from the moon…?”

"Whats this?”

“A beehive”

“What? For bees?”

“Is it true you can have two biological fathers?”

Staff and students at Running Deer tend to be food (cake) orientated…We don’t need much of an excuse to break out the sweets or cake.

“Fruit Pastel Lead” says Adam “ I will always bring Jelly Tots for you”… and he does…every week.

Student to staff “He’s made you pregnant with biscuits!”

Student: “I have just got a Frazzle splinter!” after he has eaten a bag of Frazzle crisps.

“I have just ordered a crown and a horse. We don’t have a velvet cushion, so put the crown on a red velvet cake”. Rachael ‘demanded’ a crown and a horse when she was offered the job as Head of School. She was ceremoniously presented with both (on a red velvet cake).

Every one of our students has an individual plan which means every student is taught in a way that works for them. Some are visual learners, some are practical learners and some prefer a more traditional approach…

Staff to student “Whats in your mouth?”

Student “The B” as he produces a letter B from his mouth.

Teacher: “Write an expression for the perimeter of this triangle”

Student “Surprised!”

Staff to student “Stop snogging the dog and come and do this graffiti”.

Student “Thats a big-ass hole”

Teacher looks at student.

Student replies “I didn’t mean it like that”

Student “A church tried to resurrect a toddler!”

“My hands are R.I.P” said one student after a practical activity.

When Dave said “I think the Euro has taken some of the excitement out of money” quite a few people agreed… as they did when someone stated “Our students spend half their time outdoors, the other half in metal boxes.” They are, of course, referring to our towable classrooms that we had before our beautiful pods were installed at Butterdon Wood.

When there was a brief discussion about branding for Running Deer School someone misheard the discussion and said “Branded Pants?”

No. Branded Pens”… sigh.

And when staff are looking for tools and they ask “Where are the Forestry Thongs?”…I think you mean tongs…

Max the office dog doesn’t like the printer, or people laughing, or people clapping, or raised voices. On one such morning whilst staff were having a conversation before students arrived, Max was being very vocal until someone piped up “Max be quiet - you’re upsetting the spider”.

Probably the most telling phrase that one student announced just before he was going to make a run for it was “to the gate…”. It was turned into a game but it was very helpful that the student told everyone his intention before doing it!

We had a 9 year old student who came to us twice a week for over a year through our Intervention Programme. He was a child in care and lived on a farm. He told lavish stories about his life on the farm that, at times, seemed to good to be true, but they were all true. He was truly lucky to live with such a wonderful foster family.

He was a really bright cheerful child with very low attention span. He was quick to laugh and a wonderful (if exacerbating at times) person to work with.

On returning from visiting the horses one summers day, this student came into camp and asked someone who was spreading wood chip on the path what they were doing.

“I am raking chippings” came the reply… there was a brief pause…

“Raping Chickens!” came his response “that’s disgusting”

Needless to say he informed his carer when he got home “today we raped chickens”. We got that concerned phone call that soon turned to laughter when we explained what happened.

For the sake of decency we can’t tell you what he thought we did to squirrels.

So whilst we “take over the world one dentist at a time” and make sure that the student who said “Adam I am going to sell your bag on Ebay” doesn’t actually do this’ I want to reassure you that our staff are deep thinkers and take philosophy very seriously “The stars are just a hole in the box so we can breath”.

I have been informed that the“Moon Pigs are here” and confirm that the students are not actually being “raised by Wulf’s”

However the time has come and “I need to go to the dentist to let Batman in” I guess I could “take the ponies to the dentist” at the same time.

So my parting piece of wisdom is this…

“You need to hunt the magnet to find the fish”.

But first remember “The horse is natures motorcycle.”